Demographically...dating

As many of you know, Ive lived in many different dating "markets", if you will, in my freakishly eventful 25 years (STL, Orlando, Miami, Long Island, Manhattan). Having this experience, Ive come to the conclusion that the measure of fulfillment you have for your love life heavily depends on where you live and here's why.

Obviously, different cities (or towns) offer their own good or bad aspects. Smaller cities such as St. Louis or Orlando more often offer gentlemen with an old fashion way of "taking care of their lady" with those small signs of appreciation we all adore. The guys are also more inclined to commit to you (even if you are not) and they definitely feel obligated to settle down with " a nice girl" at a much earlier point in life than a guy you'd find in say, Miami or Manhattan. This is definitely just a cultural difference as to be single and never married or had children by the age of 35-40 in smaller markets is almost associated with a sort of stigma whereas its the norm here in the NYC.

During my time spent in Miami, I was young and wild. I didnt put much thought into my dating life because frankly, I wanted no part of being in a committed relationship and wasn't exactly dating material at the time either. However, it was blatantly obvious that the Miami dating market is heavily driven by superficial BS. The men knew that in order to date a beautiful, young girl anywhere near South Beach, you needed to have an oceanfront stunner, a luxury car, and lots of flash. There were just too many other douches (well most of them) that could lull the girls in with this, that frequently (and sadly) it was a "no money, no honey" situation.

In Long Island and STL, I witnessed that when friends (I was in a long-termer in LI) would meet someone they had a decent amount of things in common with, they saw more of each other and more often and it lasted longer than Ive witnessed here in Manhattan. Why? Because in these smaller dating markets, people have limited things they like to do (go to eat at a well known local restaurant), drive to each others house and hang out and drive home when they are ready (somehow this seems more convenient than hailing a cab or taking the subway in the wee hours of the morning to change before work) and honestly, they just have less options and are more content with whats currently if front of them.

In Manhattan, on the other hand, life moves at you quickly. You must swiftly analyze what each guy you date is looking for- a fling to entertain him until something better rolls along, a relationship, a wife, sexual fulfiller? A rapid judgement is imperative. If you decide to play the "aloof" game to someone who wants something more serious, he'll judge you for not being "into it" enough. If you let him know you're into it and he's not looking for anything more than a time filler, well, thats done. If you both are looking for the same thing- perfect. But no two people would or should have that conversation within the first weeks of knowing each other. And the best and worst part? Manhattan offers so much, its too much; in regards to its human stock. Most cant handle it. There will always be some sort of distraction- someone wealthier, better looking, smarter, more beautiful, thinner, taller etc. Im happy Im presented with such a broad collection, but the thought of eternal dating is horrifying.

Ponderville

Sometimes I slip into one of those "I wonder" deep thought modes and cant escape it because my mind is bombarded with the ever-so-popular question of "WHY?"

As I scroll down my wall on Facebook checking out everyone's new status updates, I notice that there are several that make reference to them wishing it was the weekend. Hell, I wish it was too. But that bothers me and here's why.

As far as we know, this is our only time on Earth- our time to shine. So why do such a large percentage of we Earthly beings choose not to follow a path of doing something we like and are passionate about as a way to lead our lives? Is it because by the time we realize our passions, we are set into another path? Maybe. But it seems as if we wish an enormous amount of our lives away. The time most of us call Monday through Thursday. Perhaps its a little deep for a Wednesday to continue to pry into this phenomenon, but this is a thought that constantly creeps into my mind and settles. This is most likely caused by the fact that nearly everyday as I have my ass planted in my cubicle, I daydream of a career outside; where I'm given the opportunity to work with animals, help the less fortunate in developing countries, utilizing my creative parts, or patenting the new ideas that come to me. There are many who do follow their passions in life and make a living from doing so. Come on though, the better portion of us don't. No, we cant wait until the next day off and often fantasize of doing something completely opposite of that in which our whole lives are consumed of. Sad it is that we wish away our time here when it could've all been so much different if we had only had the matured mind to know what we were doing when we planned our path in adulthood.